Last
night, my husband mentioned that someone at church asked if I wanted to help
out with a school-year-long children’s program.
And it immediately made me a little panicky, afraid that I would be
cornered into doing it when I don’t feel I can take on anything else right now.
And
then I worried a little that maybe I was too quick to say “no,” that I wasn’t
being a good church member or contributing the way others were or giving God a
chance to tell me to do it.
Should I add this
responsibility? Does God want me to or
not, or does it not really matter to Him what I choose to do? Do I have a right to do what I am most
comfortable with, even if it places more burdens on others? Is it selfish of me to just focus on being a
stay-at-home mom right now? Should I be
doing more?
I
was thinking about all that this morning, going over and over in my head about
how little I do outside the house and yet how I know I cannot add one more
responsibility to my life at this time, nothing more than just being a “wife,
mom, and homeschooler of four.” Because
I can barely keep up with that. I feel
like I am drowning sometimes in the responsibilities and all that I can’t get
done around here. I can’t take on one
more thing. It panics me to be obligated
to something outside the home right now, in a “I don’t trust myself to not
crack badly under the pressure.”
Or
is the answer that I should take on
one more thing, outside the house? Would
that breathe a little fresh air into my soul?
Would it lessen the stress because I would feel I am contributing in a
meaningful way? Would I find a greater
purpose in life than what I am already doing?
Or would it suffocate me more and make me feel more stressed and stretched
even thinner? When I already feel like I
am barely hanging on by a thread?
I
don’t want to make a decision – a- year-long commitment – based on guilt. But I do know that it’s important to include
God in these decisions and to follow where He leads, even if it’s to
uncomfortable places. So what do I do?
I was
contemplating all of this during my prayers this morning, and a wonderful
thought hit me (the Holy Spirit?) …
“You’ve chosen
the harder job.”
Somehow that little sentence made me feel
better about doing what I know I need to do – saying “no” to the extra
responsibility and focusing solely on being a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom right
now. (And I’m not comparing my “job” to
anyone else’s, saying that my job is harder than theirs. I just mean that compared to all the choices that
I could have made, I chose the harder one for me.)
I
am not wimping out and taking the easier path.
I have actually chosen the harder path.
To be a mom, day in and day out, with no pay, no vacations, no bonuses,
no time off, no recognition, no outside help.
Working 24 hours a day for 18-plus years to raise children up in the
Lord, to help them be healthy, productive, responsible, capable adults, and to
help them develop a strong faith and accurate worldview and a love of
people.
We
moms have a really tough job and yet we don’t even realize it sometimes, We let the world (and ourselves) make us feel
like our work doesn’t really matter or make much difference, like we have to go
out there and find more things to do, better things to do, more productive things
to do.
We
let the world (and feminism) tell us that we are nothing unless we are working
outside the home, that staying home shows how weak and pathetic and brainwashed
we are (by our husbands).
But
think about it really …
What
are some of God’s greatest commands to us?
Do they require that we leave the home and find a job in the city? Do they require that we put our families
second so we can make some other job first?
Do they require that we make a name for ourselves, showing the world how
smart, capable, and successful we are?
Do they require that we find bigger and better things to do than what
can get done in our own home and backyard and neighborhood?
“ ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’
‘The most
important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this . . . ‘Love the Lord your God with all
your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your
strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love
your neighbor as yourself.’ ” (Mark 12:28-31)
“Then
the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my
Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation
of the world. For I was hungry and you
gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I
was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I
was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
Then the
righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or
thirsty and give you something to drink?
When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and
clothe you? When did we see you sick or
in prison and go to visit you?’
The King will
reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these
brothers of mine, you did for me.’” (Matthew 25:34-40)
“Train a child in the way he should go …” (Proverbs
22:6)
“Go and make disciples of all
nations … teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20) (Surely “making disciples and teaching them
to obey” includes our children and those in our neighborhood. And we can reach other nations in different
ways than just “leave your home to go overseas.” We can contribute through prayer and giving
money to missionaries and sharing the gospel on-line, etc. No matter where you live or work, you are a missionary! Are you living like one?)
“But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness . . .” (Matthew 6:33)
“ . . . whatever you do, do it all
for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)
All
of these can be done wherever we work
or live. All of these can be done out in
the world, in more public ways. And yet all
of them can be done in our own homes, among our children and our neighbors.
Don’t
let anyone belittle you, shame you, or guilt you into taking on more responsibility
than what God wants you to take on right now.
Don’t let this world convince you that the only work that matters is
work done outside the home.
You
are responsible to God and to your family, first and foremost.
Your
closest mission field is in your own home and neighborhood.
Don’t
sacrifice your own mission field to focus on someone else’s.
If
you do, who will reach yours?
And
remember that there are seasons of life.
This “stay-at home” role won’t last forever. Those kids will be grown and gone all too
soon. And then there will be another
season of life, a new mission field.
But
until then, remember that as “just a mom,” you chose the harder job. One worth the effort and time that you put
into it. One worth doing with all your
heart for the Lord and for those in your sphere of influence right now, those
in your mission filed. And one worth
taking pride in (the good kind of pride, not the prideful self-pride kind of
pride), because God has given us moms a high calling - caring for the hearts
and souls and faith of our children, filling a place in their lives that no one
else can fill.
The
mission field isn’t “out there” somewhere, waiting for us to leave home to go
serve in it.
The
mission field – our mission field – is wherever God has us right now, at this
moment. Even if it’s just in our own
home and backyard.
