War Rooms, Praying Scripture, and Spiritual Warfare

(reposted from my other blog - My Crazy Faith)

I strongly believe that there are angels and demons.  That prayer matters.  That there is a spiritual battle going on around us all the time ... and that we need to get involved in it, actively and consciously.  (Something I haven't been doing lately.)  

Regardless of if we want it or not, we are constantly facing spiritual battles.  But if we don't acknowledge them - if we stick our head in the sand and refuse to get involved, to put on our spiritual armor, to use the spiritual weapons that are available to us - we open ourselves up to deceptions, to defeat, to being very vulnerable to the strategies and attacks of the evil one.

What I have done here is compile a list of posts on spiritual warfare, on praying Scripture, and on creating a War Room (or War Journal).


Have you ever seen War Room?

You should.  It's a great movie.  And it is so relevant to real life.  To the life that is most real - the spiritual life.

I Will Love You ... Always

            “How long, O Lord?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me? . . . But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.”  (Psalm 13:1, 5-6)

            “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him, . . .”  (Job 13:15)

            “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”  (Job 1:21)

                       

            Years ago, I saw the movie Facing the Giants.  And it was a good movie.  Last night (April 16, 2015, this is obviously a repost), I saw it again . . . and it was a great movie.  It touched my heart in ways it didn’t before.  And I pretty much cried through the whole thing.  (Good thing the lights were off so my family couldn’t tell.) 

Silence as Worship

(written 3\6\18)

For a long time now I have had a hard time praying.  (I'm talking a couple years.)  Or more accurately, I've had a hard time knowing what to pray, how to pray.

It feels like so much has gone wrong, like so many hopes have crashed and burned, like prayer isn't having any effect, like I am praying to the ceiling, like the things I pray about are what gets attacked anyway, like the burdens of life are too heavy and have shattered me into too many pieces, like there is just too much to complain about.

And so ... I have been silent.

In life.  In friendships.

And even in prayer (for the most part, compared to how I used to pray).

And this has bothered me for awhile.  Made me feel guilty, like I am failing at friendships, at my faith, as a Christian.

I was thinking about all this the other day.  Thinking about the alternative to silence.

What if I started talking?  What would I even say?

I realized that if I did start talking, start rambling in prayer, all I would do is complain.  I would lament all that was going wrong, all that felt unfair, all the broken dreams.  I would ramble on about all the things I think I need from God, all the things He isn't giving to me or doing for me.  I would be repeating all the things I've already told Him over and over again.  

And this is when it dawned on me that - with the emotional state I am in - silence is actually my way of honoring God, of worshipping Him.  Of trusting Him.  

Because I don't want to complain about what He has allowed into my life.  I don't want to focus only on the bad stuff.  I don't want to dishonor Him with my grumbling.  I don't want to keep telling Him over and over again about what I expect out of Him, about how He should answer my prayers, about how I want Him to do what I want Him to do, about how much it hurts that He isn't answering prayers my way.
 

I know Him too well to doubt His love, care, goodness, and sovereignty. I know Him too well to think that He isn't listening, that He doesn't care, or that He isn't going to do something about my concerns.
  

If opening my mouth right now means complaining ... then I choose silence.

If opening my mouth means telling Him over and over again all that I've already told Him, acting like He isn't listening or doesn't care ... then I choose silence.

If opening my mouth means that I keep talking and talking, leaving no room for Him to talk and no room for me to really hear what He has to say when He is ready to talk ... then I choose silence.

Silence is how I am worshipping Him right now.  How I bear the daily crosses.  How I am settling myself down so I can hear Him when He is ready to talk.  How I am learning to wait on His timing, to let Him do things His way.  How I show that I trust Him, even when life hurts.  

I Just Want To Finish Well

Once again, I found myself in an emotional funk (this is a repost from 2014, yet it still seems to be where I’m at in 2017), feeling like I can’t accomplish anything.  Can’t give any one thing the effort and time it needs.  I am so stretched-thin in places.  The housework never gets done.  This house will never be "finished."  My cooking has seen better days.  There’s not enough time to do everything I want when it comes to homeschooling … so, of course, my boys are going to grow up to be great big drains on society. 

I was feeling a little panicked that things were slipping away from me too fast, that I couldn’t get a grip on anything.  And then I picked up a movie from the library that really settled my heart.  Flywheel.  It’s an older one, the first one done by the people who made Courageous and Facing the Giants.  And I have to say that . . . it . . . is . . . good!  It’s really good, even if it’s a little old and primitive.

But the thing that sticks with me the most from it was the line that went like this: “I just want to finish well.” 

Winning the Battle

I have been in a “funk” lately.  I get in them often, comes with being a child from a broken home.  (This is a repost of something I wrote years ago, but it still strongly applies.)  Prayer has felt futile.  I’ve been wanting to pull back from people.  I am struggling to accept certain “life problems” that I wish I didn’t have.  And I constantly deal with feelings of failure and not mattering.  

I know it’s not proper for a Christian to expose the fact that they are dealing with depression and frustration with God and disappointment with prayer and unhappiness with life.  I know we are supposed to plaster on that “good, happy, Christian smile” and act like we are full of joy and peace and contentment.  (Or are we?)  But this is the truth about how I feel.  And if I can’t be real with God and other Christians (even anonymously on this blog), then who can I be real with? 

[One of my reasons for writing so honestly is because I want my kids to understand that struggling with life and with God is part of the journey.  It does not make you a “bad Christian.”  It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is important to face it and work through it honestly. 

Broken

            It hurts to be broken. 

            It’s being vulnerable, taking a risk with our hearts . . . sometimes winning, sometimes losing. 

            It’s leaning on others and opening ourselves up to them, to trust, to hope.  Sometimes finding support and acceptance and help, being caught before we hit the ground.  And sometimes being let down and battered, falling flat on our faces when others pull back and fail to catch us. 

            Sometimes, it’s just a minor annoyance, a pain that we absorb with relative ease, realizing that we are better for it.  And sometimes, it’s more pain than we can bear, feeling like we’ll never be whole again, wanting to curl up in a ball in a dark, lonely corner and fall asleep forever. 

            Being broken hurts!   

I'm weak and I need You!

            What is it that we always say to encourage people going through a hard time?

            “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”

            But guess what?

            It’s not true. 

            “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered . . . We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we even despaired of life.  Indeed, in our hearts, we felt the sentence of death.  But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”  (2 Corinthians 1:8-9)

Afraid to Pray?

Have you ever been afraid to pray? 

I’m in this place a bit right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that prayer matters.  That it’s crucial.  I do pray about things.  Prayers of thanksgiving.  Prayers about immediate concerns.  Prayers of “I’m sorry.” 

But more and more, I find that the words don’t come easily.  I guess I am afraid because it seems that every time I pray for something, the thing I pray about gets attacked. 

When faith hurts!

            If there’s one thing I’ve learned over these past depressing years, it’s that faith is messy sometimes.  Faith hurts sometimes.  And we might get upset with “faith” because it’s not doing what we want it to do.

            But the thing is … we don’t have faith in God because it’s fun or because it gives us an emotional high or because it makes life the way we want it to be.  We have faith in God because He is real.  Because He is good and faithful, even when life is messy and it hurts and when prayers don’t work. 

            And I think our faith becomes more real and strong as we face the hard times and trials. 

            It’s easy to “have faith” when life is going like we want it to.  But that’s not really faith, now is it?  It’s gratitude that life is good.  It’s happiness because we are getting what we want.  (And many times, it’s idolatry in disguise.) 

            But when the trials come, we have to struggle with our views of God and ourselves and life and faith.  Heartbreaking trials gradually, painfully move us from a naïve, untested, “gimme” faith in a version of God that we created in our minds … to a genuine, hard-won faith in God as He is - a God who is mysterious, who can’t be manipulated by us, who is far above us, who has His own plans and timing, and who is sovereign over all, knowing when to say “Yes” and when to say “No.”  Through the trials, we learn who we really are and we learn to have faith in Him for the God that He really is.  And that is a faith that helps us cling through the hard times.

            If we can’t say “Blessed be Your name” during the hardest trials then we don’t really mean it during the easier times either. 

            If we won’t follow Him when the road gets rough - if we turn our backs on Him when we get hurt or things don't go our way - then we were never really following Him to begin with.  

            (An excerpt from other posts - something I need to be reminded of often.)

26 Tips For Dealing with Depression/Anxiety (Long Version)

            This is a revision of a section I had in the “How I Broke” post.  (It's a LONG post, just to warn you.  For the shorter version - half as long - click here.)  It’s about the things I have found helpful when dealing with anxiety and/or depression as a Christian.  It’s been a long year or so of dealing with it pretty regularly and intensely, and I have tried many things to get through it all, some really helpful and some just temporarily helpful.  But if anything I have learned can help someone else … well, that’s why I keep writing about it.  So in no particular order (well, kind of), here are some of the things I have tried and learned (there will be some overlap but that’s okay, I need to be reminded of this stuff as much as possible anyway):

1.  Clearly identify what you are feeling and why, if you can.  And pray about it all honestly.  Get real with yourself and with the Lord.  And let your pain draw you closer to the Lord, purify your trust in Him, and mature your faith.

            Doubts and fear and pain don’t have to destroy our faith in God.  They can actually make it stronger and more real.  But only if we are willing to be honest about it all with Him (and with ourselves).  Too many times, we Christians try to please God with nice, pleasing-sounding, polished-up prayers, while we hide the real, hurting, ugly parts of ourselves.  Afraid He might be displeased with us if we reveal them.  But this fakeness causes a breech in our relationship with Him.  I believe honesty is better.

            Write out exactly what's bugging you as thoroughly as possible.  And then bring it all to Him – all the ugly, displeasing thoughts, all the doubts and fears, the brokenness and weakness and failures.  Cry out to Him.  Tell Him that you need help, that you can’t do it anymore.  Be honest with Him about everything inside of you.  He knows it all already. 

          You don’t have to fix it all.  You don’t have to know what to do.  You don’t have to do it all on your own.  You are not alone in your trials and your pain.  He is always waiting for us to cry out to Him, to include Him in our trials, in our need, in our pain, to let Him into the broken parts of our heart so that He can heal them.  But you have to be honest.  To open up the doors that you have closed off in your heart.   

26 Tips for Dealing with Depression/Anxiety (Short Version)

In no particular order (well, kind of), here are some of the things I've tried and learned when dealing with depression and/or anxiety as a Christian:

1. Clearly identify what you feel and why (if you can).  And pray about it all honestly.  Get real with yourself and with the Lord.  And let your pain draw you closer to Him, purify your trust in Him, and mature your faith.

        You don’t have to fix it all.  You don’t have to know what to do.  You don’t have to do it all on your own.  You are not alone in your trials and your pain.  He is always waiting for us to cry out to Him, to include Him in our trials, in our need, in our pain, to let Him into the broken parts of our heart so that He can heal them.  But you have to be honest, to open up the doors that you have closed off in your heart.  (And remember that we're all human, and humans hurt.  And that's normal.  You are normal.  It's okay to not be okay.  You're going to be okay.)   

        Be real.  Be raw.  Be honest.  That’s a major part of humility.

The Greatest Risk of Living Transparently

The greatest risk of living transparently isn't "What if I open up my heart and then people judge me" ...

It's "What if I open up my heart ... and no one cares".


The only real way to get past this fear is to live transparently not for what we can get out if it ... but for what we can give to others through it.

Our humble honest heart is sometimes the greatest gift and help we can offer other people.  No strings attached.

Put That Burden Down

            “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  (Matthew 11:28-30)

            What kinds of burdens weigh you down?  How can these verses be applied to your life?

 

            There are many different kinds of burdens we carry around that we were never meant to carry.  And we need to put those burdens down and take Jesus’ yoke upon us instead.   

Denying the Lord

            “‘You will all fall away,’ Jesus told them . . .

            Peter declared, ‘Even if all fall away, I will not.’

            ‘I tell you the truth,’ Jesus answered, ‘today – yes, tonight – before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.’

            But Peter insisted emphatically, ‘Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.’  And all the others said the same.’  (Mark 14:27-31)

           

            Peter was so sure that he would stand by Jesus’ side through thick and thin.  He spent 24 hours a day with Jesus for several years.  He knew Him to be a supernatural being, capable of miracles and healings and casting out demons.  He knew Jesus was the Truth in a sea of lies.  There was no way Peter would deny the Lord.  Knowing Him that well and having a deep faith and personal, intimate relationship with Him, who could possibly deny Jesus?

            Each and every one of the disciples. 

            And each and every one of us, too - that’s who!

When You Don't Feel Like You're Enough

2 Chronicles 13:18:  “… and the men of Judah were victorious because they relied on the Lord …”

            The men of Judah were victorious because they relied on the Lord!

            Oh, how I needed to hear that this morning!  Oh, how I needed to be reminded that my efforts don’t matter nearly as much as my willingness to rely on the Lord!

            In this Bible passage, Abijah (king of Judah) had gone into battle against Jeroboam (king of Israel and an adversary of Solomon, Abijah’s grandfather).  Abijah had 400,000 men and Jeroboam had 800,000 men.  It seemed pretty hopeless.  And to make matters worse, while Abijah was giving a speech to Jeroboam at the battle line about how Jeroboam has forsaken the Lord and how Judah has not, Jeroboam’s men snuck around the back to hem in Abijah’s troops from both sides.

            When Abijah’s men realized that they were trapped, what was the first thing they did?

            Did they draw up a battle plan?  Did they start attacking indiscriminately?  Did they run away, throw up the white flag, or curl up in a ball and start crying?  Did they panic?

What I've Learned About Trials

 

 

 

 

 

It Takes Courage To ... (repost)

It takes courage to ...

            - Get up every day and do your job when you’d rather do your own thing.

            - Get up every day and do your job when you’d rather throw in the towel, curl up in a corner and cry.

            - Find something to be thankful for when so many things are going wrong and you’d rather have a “pity party.”

            - Focus on and enjoy your own blessings when others seem to have it “way better.”

Shortest Bible Lesson

When God Leaves

“God left him to test him and to know everything that was in his heart.”  (2 Chron. 32:31)

God’s silence – His “absence” - has a way of bringing out what’s really in our hearts … pride, love of comfort or control or pleasure or possessions, idols, fears, doubts, greed, envy, hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness, hopelessness, etc. 

When He is silent or when it feels like He’s abandoned you, don’t despair.  He’s using that time to test you, to see what’s really in your heart and what you will do when you think He’s not really there. 

His silence forces us to decide if we will continue in faithful obedience or if we will rebel and do our own thing, if we will cling to Him or if we will despair and turn away, if we have faith because we need Him or if we have faith because we want the things He might give us. 

God doesn't "leave" us because He doesn't care.  He "leaves" us because His silence - His "absence" - is one of the biggest testers and refiners of our faith!  It shows us and Him who we really are and where we have placed our faith and what we really want!

Spiritual Loneliness

            As I have walked this journey of faith, I learned something that I never read in any book on faith: 

            The deeper you go in your walk with the Lord, the lonelier it can get. 

            The higher you climb on the mountain of faith, the less people you’ll find climbing with you. 

            First off, other people can’t go with you into the hardest parts of your journey - when you are struggling the most with your faith, with the hardest trials, with the deepest truths and doubts and fears.  Those struggles are between you and yourself and the Lord.