As I reflect back on my spiritual
journey so far, I have to say that the most growth seemed to happen during the
times of God’s deafening silence, the long waits. These usually started with me praying about
some request. And then, when the answer
wasn’t coming and I couldn’t even feel His presence anymore, I would end up
desperate, pleading to just have any sense that He was even there, that He
cared and was listening, and that He hadn’t abandoned me. What started out as a request for something I
wanted or “needed” became a search for knowing that God really cared about
me. God’s silence forced me to move from
wanting my request to just wanting Him.
It’s ironic to me that the greatest
levels of spiritual growth come out of the times when I struggle the most with
doubts and fears about Him and myself and my faith. And the greatest growth I experience in my
understanding of prayer comes when I feel like I am totally failing at it. But it takes time. It takes commitment to walk through the pain
and silence and doubt with God,
instead of bailing on Him because He is “too slow” or too silent.
I think that there are at least five
reasons why God remains silent for stretches of time:
1.
It’s a time of discipline - a time when He has “withdrawn” to give us a
little jolt that helps us open our eyes to our sins and the effect that they
have caused. This is to help us adjust
our course as we walk with Him, and we should be deliberate about righting any
wrongs and asking forgiveness as soon as we can.
2.
It’s a time of being turned over to the hardness of our hearts - because
we have resisted Him and have neglected to listen to and obey the convictions
and nudges of the Holy Spirit. Or maybe
we have outright rebelled or turned our back on Him. First, He tries to get our attention and help
us get back on track. But if we persist,
He has no other choice than to let us walk down the path of rebellion. This kind of silence is to be feared and
taken very seriously. It is dangerous
territory and can reap severe consequences.
3.
It’s a time of pruning and growth - when He knows that we are ready and
willing to pursue Him and His righteousness more deliberately, when we have
reached out for Him more earnestly than ever before. And yet, somehow, it seems like He has
withdrawn. But this silence should not
be feared. He is there with you,
encouraging you toward godly growth and character, like a parent who keeps
taking steps back when their child is learning to walk to them. Allow this time to draw you closer to Him, in
prayer and through His Word.
4.
It’s a time to teach us to be content with God’s right to say “no” or
“wait.”
5.
And sometimes it’s just because He’s working on the answer to our
prayers and it’s not ready yet. And so
He has nothing more to say than “Find your comfort and strength in Me, and hang
in there. I’m working on it.”
When you find yourself in an
extended time of waiting, of God’s silence and you are getting confused and
don’t know what to do, consider what the time of waiting may be about. Is it for discipline? Is it because you are in rebellion? Is it that He is working on the answer or
challenging you to give Him the right to say “no”? Or is it because God is asking you to climb
higher and dig deeper in your walk with Him?
Quite honestly, our tendency is to
fear this time, to feel abandoned, and to feel like it will never end. And so we desperately try to fight our way
out of His silence, or to fill it with busyness and “God-pleasing” activities
in hopes that we can earn His answer or attention.
Resist the urge to lead the way
out. And follow instead! Our job is not to concern ourselves with His
job, with how He is leading or what in the world He is doing. Our job is to obey, to praise, and to glorify
Him today – whether He gives or takes
away, whether we have a big job or small one, whether He is silent or
active. Our job is to be responsible for
the tasks that He puts into our path today,
and to let Him have the rest. To let
Him have tomorrow, let Him have the
right to guide our path. Ultimately,
it’s about letting Him be God. And this
is crucial in learning to be content!
