Misconception
Number 5: Isn’t prayer just talking to
God, as we were taught when we were young?
No.
Another important part of prayer is listening. This, I believe, is a severely neglected
skill - learning to hear the voice of God and the nudges of the Holy Spirit. And this depends on our desire to hear, on
whether or not we obey the nudges that we do get, and if we remain in Him and
let His words remain in us. This leads
to powerful prayers.
And prayer is also about opening up
our full lives and hearts to Him and to the Holy Spirit. And this can only happen by honesty and
transparency with ourselves and God. If
we close off any part of our hearts or lives from Him, we limit the influence
and effect and healing that He can have in our lives. We limit also our effectiveness. Humility demands transparency. Anything less is trying to pull the wool over
God’s eyes. And I think that if we are
living this way, He may be forced to withdraw His presence from us until we see
and admit the true conditions of our hearts and lives. And prayer also, as I said, is about getting
God’s Will done.
So how do we “hear” God? How does He speak to us? There are a few ways that I know of, and
there may be more. But let me list some
of the ways that I have experienced God’s messages:
1. First and foremost and most clearly, He
speaks to us through His Word. This is
the measuring stick that we measure all other messages by. And the more we read it and absorb it and
take it to heart, the better equipped we are to discern falsehood from truth
and our own thoughts from His. And we
will have a solid basis to evaluate any other messages by. He will never instruct us to do anything that
violates His revealed, written Truth.
(And I wonder at times if when we want to “hear” from God in dramatic,
supernatural ways while neglecting His Word, He says instead, “Learn what I
have already revealed in My Word, and then I’ll speak more to you.”)
2. Sometimes when we need a specific direction,
He speaks through our circumstances or other people or through our
conscience. (Although, your “conscience”
can be numbed by disobedience or a refusal to listen. And we can easily convince ourselves that He
is telling us whatever we want to hear.
So be careful and run all things past Scripture.)
3. He definitely speaks through His creation and
the natural world. If we get out there
more often, we will find a lot to reflect on, to praise Him for, to learn
about, and to learn from.
4. Sometimes, He speaks through other people,
either through their wisdom or by giving a message to them for us. And we need to be willing to listen to what
others, especially godly people, say to us.
We should graciously listen and sift out the nuggets of truth and
wisdom. Especially if it’s coming from
someone who cares about us and has our best interest at heart.
5. God also speaks through His slowness (as we
call it). It is during the times of
waiting on Him that we struggle with what’s really inside of us, with how we
see ourselves and how we see Him. Usually,
we are able to keep these things hidden as long as we are moving at a good
speed through life. But His slowness
frustrates and confuses us. It makes us
feel out of control. And we find
ourselves face to face with things that we didn’t know we had to deal
with. Let the Holy Spirit use these
times of waiting to speak to you. (More
on this later.)
6. I think that one way to know that God is
speaking to us and leading us in a certain direction is by a sense of
peace. We just have a certain deep assurance
about what He wants us to do, and any other option just isn’t right. But it takes patience to wait for the
conviction and the assurance. And it is
wise to check it against the Bible, in prayer, and possibly with godly
counsel. We should ask God to confirm if
we are on the right track but to stop us if we are not.
7.
God also occasionally speaks through dreams, times when we wake up and
go, “Okay, now I think that dream really meant something. It was so vivid and powerful.” And it might be that it was a message from
God to us. Look at the Bible and see how
many times God’s messages came to people in dreams. If we have a powerful dream, we should spend
some time reflecting on it and ask the Holy Spirit’s help for insight.
8. I think that God does speak to our spiritual
ears, too. Not necessarily our physical
ones as though someone was sitting next to us, but to our spiritual ones where
it felt like someone said something to us in our heads. For me, this has happened so rarely. But when it has, I knew it was from Him. And it’s usually been a quick, to-the-point
sentence.
I was once contemplating the quality
of my relationship with the Lord and any areas I may have been slack in, and I
heard, “You don’t listen enough.” And I
knew that He meant that I spent lots of time telling Him all that I was
concerned about and all that I wanted Him to do, but I wasn’t really putting a
priority on listening to what He wanted to tell me. This is a message I heard with my “spiritual
ears.” And to be honest, it didn’t sound like a deep, masculine voice or anything. It really just sounded like my own thoughts. But like thoughts that didn’t originate from me. They simply popped out of nowhere. And I was struck by the wording of them. I was referred to as “you.” I was being “talked to,” as opposed to just thinking about myself. And I believed this was a time that God was speaking to my mind.
[However, I think that it’s very easy to confuse “God’s voice” with our own thoughts. And so we need to be careful to evaluate whatever we “hear” according to the Bible’s Truth. And it would be wise to say, “I believe God told me . . .”, instead of “God said . . .” It’s just a more cautious, correct way to speak about what we think God is telling us. Because whenever we say, “God said . . .”, we are claiming that what we say or do is directly from God’s mouth or Will. And we are basically putting ourselves above correction and questioning. If anyone was to argue with us or doubt us, we’ve made it clear that they would essentially be coming up against God Himself.
I think that, yes, we ourselves can be sure of something that God told us. But it is all-too-easy to use God’s Will and voice to justify something that we want to do or say on our own. And history attests to this! So it would be wise to word it as “I believe that God said . . .” when talking to other people. That way, we remain humble, teachable, and approachable, in case another godly person believes that they need to question or challenge what we are claiming. Just something to keep in mind.]
To be clear, I don’t really think that this is His main mode of communicating with us. But when it does happen, you just know in the very depths of your spirit that it was God, and not your own thoughts.
9. I think that God sometimes speak to us not by
actual words, but by a deep gut-feeling.
We don’t so much hear the words, but we understand the message by how we
are feeling. Along with hearing “It’s
not too late” (the message that I knew the Spirit wanted me to tell the woman
considering a divorce) was a “burning” in my being. It was a deep, burning sensation that this
was the Holy Spirit moving me (well, trying to move me) to say something. I can totally understand what Jeremiah meant
when he said, “But if I say, ‘I will not mention
him or speak any more in his name,’ his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire
shut up in my bones. I am weary holding
it in; indeed, I cannot.” (Jeremiah 20:9)
There was another time like this when
I was at a church meeting, and I felt a burning need to stand up and say
something very important about an issue that was dividing the church. I felt driven by a force stronger than myself
to stand up and be the only voice that would speak against what was going
on. It was like sitting in a parked car
with the ignition on and the pedal to the ground - wheels spinning and burning
up, just waiting for you to put it into drive.
In this instance, though, I sat there and did nothing. At the time, I didn’t really understand that this was most likely the Holy Spirit pushing me to speak. I thought that maybe it was my own thoughts and my own view of the situation. But looking back now, I really believe that it was the Spirit and that I needed to say what I should have said. Who knows how things may have turned out differently if I had stood up and spoke? (I did, at the very least, send a letter to the Pastor with my thoughts. It would’ve eaten me alive to share them with no one.) These times, even though I failed to do what I should have done, helped me to pay more attention to how the Spirit speaks to me and nudges me. I’m learning through my failures.
I’ve also felt compelled sometimes by an irresistible urge to say something out loud or to do something that seemed so insignificant or small at the time. But after I said it, I could see the much-needed effect that it had on others. And I think sometimes the Holy Spirit compels us to say or do something “small” because it really means something to someone else.
One such time, I was standing in line at Trader Joe’s when my young son began to sing the Veggie Tales theme song, barely audibly. I can honestly say that he has never sung that song in the middle of any of our shopping trips, unless we were all singing it together because we were in the veggie aisle or something.
Well, I felt compelled to comment out loud about the song he was singing. It was almost as if I had to point out that he was singing that particular song. And as I did, I heard my voice getting louder as I spoke, like someone was meant to hear what I was saying. (Though it made no sense to me.)
And I asked him, “Oh, is that the Veggie Tales song you’re singing?” And I sang a line or two with him. And then I smiled at the lady in front of me, an “aren’t kids cute” kind of smile. And … no joke … the lady in front of me who looked so tired and worn down perked up and said, “I used to work for Veggie Tales.” (Obviously meaning that she helped work on the production of the shows, not that she worked for a computer-generated cucumber and tomato.) We exchanged a couple pleasantries, and then she left with a smile.
And I have to believe that I was driven to say what I did for her sake, that God would use that in her life and heart for some reason, if only just to send her some encouragement.
And I’ve had several times that something like this happened, where I felt myself saying something that just seemed to have some mysterious purpose or significance. Only to find out that it’s just what someone else needed to hear or that it opened a door to a meaningful conversation or led to some help that I needed.
And so I think that God sometimes literally speaks to others through us, and we may not even be aware that He is compelling us to say certain things. But I am hoping that I am learning to recognize that “burning or compelling” feeling, so that I might not fail to say what He wants me to say or do what He wants me to do.
10. And sometimes, God speaks to us by a message
that simply forms in our minds, thoughts that pull together and give us some
important message or insight. And you
just get a sense that your thoughts are leading you somewhere important or have
a valuable meaning. We need to
deliberately follow these bunny trails that the Holy Spirit takes us on.
Because as we contemplate and let
these thoughts develop, we get a message from God: messages about what He
expects from us, convictions about sins, how we need to clean up our lives, how
much He loves us, etc. It’s not words or
feelings, so much as God-directed thoughts.
I believe that God does speak to us this way, but we will only learn
from them if we accept them, listen to them, and encourage them. Sometimes, something will pop into my mind, something about myself that bothers me - a concern or doubt or question that I have or whatever. And I will wonder if there is anything behind it, any importance to it or anything to be learned from it.
And so I will “follow the trail of thoughts,” asking the Holy Spirit to help direct my thoughts. I’ll start with a concern or a question and I will follow it up with another question or thought, and see where it takes me. It’s kinda like playing the role of my own counselor. And it’s been very revealing.
As an example, here’s a conversation
between myself and the Lord about the fears that I was wrestling with when
waiting for God’s guidance about my son’s Baby Bottle Tooth Decay and about our
fruitless house-hunting time. I had
asked the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and give me answers as I explored my
fears. And here is where my thoughts led
me:
A. Lord, I don’t know what to do. And it’s frustrating and depressing and I
feel like I’m failing.
B: Why do you feel like you have to do anything?
A: Because I’m the mom. I should know what to do. But I don’t.
I’m failing.
B: Failing at what?
A: Well, I can’t find the right house although
we’ve tried for years, and I can’t fix R.’s teeth no matter how hard I try.
B: So no matter what you do, none of your best
efforts are good enough?
A: Exactly.
B: Exactly!
A: What . . . Huh?!?
B: Exactly!
None of your best efforts are good enough. You’ve been relying on yourself, but you
can’t do it in your own power.
A: But I don’t know what else to do.
B: Just rest!
A: What?
How do I rest when there is so much to do, and “resting” will look
irresponsible to others when we are trying to find a house, and I need to find
the right dentist because R.’s teeth are rotting away. They’ll be stubs before we know it, and then
we’ll have to get them pulled, and then he’ll have no teeth till his adult ones
grow in. And then when they do, they’ll
probably rot, too, because I don’t know what’s causing it.
B: Just rest.
A: But there’s so much that I don’t know.
B: But there’s so much that I do.
A: Oh!
Then why won’t You tell me what to do?
I’ve been waiting for an answer for so long and I’m freaking out.
B: I won’t tell you because you’re freaking out. You still don’t trust Me. You are always trying to do it in your own
power. And I’m trying to teach you to
rest in Mine. Why are you trying so hard
to control everything?
A: Because I get hurt if I don’t. If I rely on anyone else, I get let down.
B: Even by Me?
A: Um. . . I never really thought about it, but
I guess I do act like I think You’ll let me down, too. So I try to control everything.
B: Even things you have no business trying to
control?
A: Yeah, I guess so.
B: Do you think you can do better than Me?
A: No. I
really don’t. But I guess I do act like
I can do better. Forgive me, Lord. Help me learn to trust in You with the things
that I have no clue about. Help me. And, please, give me Your peace. I have none of my own and I’m freaking
out. So please, I need Your peace in
this. Sustain me until I know what to
do, and give me the wisdom to know what to do and when to do it.
I have learned a lot through these
kinds of conversations with myself and the Lord. But I had to be deliberate about
communicating with Him. This is not the
same thing as mulling over some problem in my head and turning it over and
looking at it from every angle and trying to figure out what to do. That’s trying to handle it on my own. And God will let us worry ourselves into a
frenzy, if that’s what we want to do.
But conversing with the Lord about what’s going on inside, well, that’s
prayer.
(But
do not run off with a message based solely on feelings or thoughts or
gut-instincts. Run every message past
these criteria: Is it Scriptural? Is it glorifying to God? Is it loving?
Is it just? Is it truth? Is it for building up and not tearing
down? And check other Scriptures for
more tests. The more you know Scripture,
the more you can discern God’s messages from the world’s or your own.)
These may not be the only ways that
God speaks, but they are how I have experienced Him and the leading of the Holy
Spirit.
