Moving to Other Blogs

I do not add posts to this blog anymore, but I do add them to My Crazy Faith and Heather's Garden and Home.  And I have an anti-Calvinism blog called The Anti-Calvinist Rant.  And if you want to comment on any of my blogs, click here: The Comment Corral.  

Help for Anxiety, Depression, and Suicidal Thoughts

(June 12, 2018.  I updated the links October 2024.)  

It's so sad to hear about all the celebrities who have recently committed suicide (or about anyone who has committed suicide, for that matter).  My heart breaks for them, for the pain they went through, and for the ones who love them, for the pain they are now going through.  It is truly a tragedy.

To anyone who is hurting really badly, who is struggling with overwhelming anxiety or depression, who is considering taking their own lives ... I dedicate this post.  Please, take some time to look through some of the links here.  This is a round-up of some on-line resources or posts about dealing with anxiety or depression, particularly as a Christian.


But first:

Quick tips for help:

If you are desperate for some immediate help and don't want to look through the links I have below, try some of these (but if it's really bad and you might hurt yourself, call 911 or go to the emergency room):

War Rooms, Praying Scripture, and Spiritual Warfare

(reposted from my other blog - My Crazy Faith)

I strongly believe that there are angels and demons.  That prayer matters.  That there is a spiritual battle going on around us all the time ... and that we need to get involved in it, actively and consciously.  (Something I haven't been doing lately.)  

Regardless of if we want it or not, we are constantly facing spiritual battles.  But if we don't acknowledge them - if we stick our head in the sand and refuse to get involved, to put on our spiritual armor, to use the spiritual weapons that are available to us - we open ourselves up to deceptions, to defeat, to being very vulnerable to the strategies and attacks of the evil one.

What I have done here is compile a list of posts on spiritual warfare, on praying Scripture, and on creating a War Room (or War Journal).


Have you ever seen War Room?

You should.  It's a great movie.  And it is so relevant to real life.  To the life that is most real - the spiritual life.

Sometimes I Wish ...

Sometimes I wish there was a place I could go where I could scream as long and as loud as I want to - a raw, primal scream, maybe even ranting and raving about everything I've ever wanted to scream out loud but held inside instead ... and no one could hear it but God in heaven (but maybe He could cover His ears for a little while, just in case). 

Or I wish I could wake up in one of those places you see in the movies sometimes, that all-white, alternate-universe place with no walls, no ceiling, no floor, no people, no noise ... no anything except whiteness as far as the eye can see.  And I could just sit there awhile in complete stillness and silence and peace.

That would be nice.

All Good Things ... (And "When Things Don't Turn Out The Way You Wanted")

You know what they say - that there's a time for every good thing to end.  Well, I would like to end this blog on these posts, some of my favorites (along with the “How I Broke” post and the series on predestination in April).  (But I will be continuing to add posts to one of my other blogs - https://heathersgardenandhome.blogspot.com.)    

And so here's the last real post on this blog ... "When Things Don't Turn Out The Way You Wanted":

Starting Your Own Relationship with Jesus Christ (And Why We Need Him!)

(Updated 3/12/20, to simplify it, add new stuff, and make it cleaner-looking.  I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.)

John 3: 16: “For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

God so loved the world.  He didn’t just love the world; He so loved the world.  He so loved the world that He (Jesus) would die in our place before He would miss out on an eternal relationship with us.  He knew that we would disappoint Him and hurt Him and fail Him, but He still so wanted a relationship with us that He made a way.  He knew that there would be many, many people that would reject His gift of love and salvation, but an eternity spent with those who would choose Him was worth the price of dying on the cross.  That is some amazing love!

Let me ask you something: If you were to die today or if Jesus came back today, would you be ready?  Seriously.  This life as we know it isn't going to go on forever.  And we are not invincible.  People die every day, in every kind of way.  Are you ready to face eternity, whatever comes the moment after you take your last breath?  Have you figured out who Jesus is and why He matters so much?

Because this will be what matters most the moment after you die.  Actually, it's what matters most in this lifetime, too, because it greatly affects what happens the moment after you die.

Atheism and World Religions (repost)

I am much more willing to believe that there is a God and that He is choosing to not answer my prayers the way I want ... than to believe that there is no God just because life isn't going the way I want it to.

It is narrow-minded, self-centered pride to think that God should always answer my prayers the way I want Him to.  It is foolishness to decide that there must not be a God just because life isn't going my way.  There is far too much evidence of a Creator for me to base my belief in Him simply on what He does or doesn't do in my own little life.



[This is also taken from the Bible study I wrote.  FYI – like the other reposts, it’s very long.]

            In this lesson, I combined parts of several posts from https://myimpressionisticlife.blogspot.com.  This lesson in not really an academic “study” of atheism and world religions, but it’s a very personal account of why I could never give up my faith in Jesus, why those other options are not for me, and how I would explain salvation and faith in Jesus to a non-believer. 

            Christianity isn’t a squeaky clean, “everything goes smoothly and life is always what I want it to be” kind of faith.  It can be messy and painful and difficult. 

            Due to many trials which have caused me to struggle deeply with my faith, I’ve become a little less polished and a lot more real over the years.  This is why I included this lesson and the depression one.  Because I really wanted to show the very real, human side of being a believer in Jesus, how we can struggle enormously with heartache and pain and doubt and fear . . . and yet still cling to Him.

            This will be a long lesson (I tried to cut it down as much as I could) because I will be looking at several different things which all relate to what we choose to believe and why: atheism, world religions, evidence to support the Bible and Jesus, and how I would describe salvation and faith in Jesus to someone.  

Why I Could Never be an Atheist

            “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’”  (Psalm 14:1)

             “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.”  (Romans 1:20)

The End Times (repost)

            (Reposted directly from a post about the End Times in the Bible Study I wrote.  I don’t know, but something about all the hurricanes and earthquakes and solar flares and society going more “cash-less” and the terrorism and the martyring of Christians and the disease epidemics and the technology to put little radio transmitters into people’s hands containing their information and the various celestial events and a fast-approaching “one-world system” and a brewing civil war and a brewing world war, etc. … I don’t know, but something about all that makes it seems worthwhile to repost this post at this time.
            And to all those scoffers who say "None of this has anything to do with the end of the world" or "There is no 'end of the world' and Jesus isn't coming back again," I would like to ask you ... "Are you so sure!?!  Are you so sure that there isn't a supernatural world out there?  That there isn't a God who will someday do exactly what He said He'd do in His Word?  That He isn't moving and working in this world and about to bring this time to an end?  Are you so sure!?!  Even if the end doesn't come in our lifetime, it will come someday - in our own lives and for the world as we know it.  Are you prepared to face the truth?  Will you find the truth before it's too late?"     
            FYI, I didn’t repost all the questions at the end of Bible study here, just the main content.  Warning:  Don’t read this unless you are ready for a headache, ‘cuz your head will be spinning.)

            No study on the “less clear” things of Scripture would be complete without a look into the End Times.  There are many different ideas about how the world will end.  Of course, most Christians believe that it will end when Christ returns and God makes all things new.  But what isn’t clear is the timing of everything.  And the biggest “unclear” thing: Will there be a rapture?  Will it come before, during, or after the tribulation?

            I have studied this really intensely at different times over the years.  Reading every book on the topic that I could find, studying the Bible, checking the original Greek meaning of the words, etc.   To me, it is a huge, complex, wonderfully-frustrating puzzle.  And I could never really understand it . . . until this last time that I studied it.  And I was finally able to settle this issue in my mind once and for all. 

Is the Rapture taught in the Bible?

             I believe there’s going to be rapture of the true believers before the tribulation starts (which I looked at in "The End Times" post, so some of this will be review of that).  

             In this post, I’m going to list which significant passages I think refer to the Rapture and which refer to the Visible Second Coming, which will happen at the 6^th seal, during the tribulation.  This is all just my opinion.  I do not claim to have any special revelation from God.  It’s just the best way I make sense of Scripture.
 

             Before I get into the verses, keep this in mind:
          1.  All “coming of the Lord” passages that include something about Jesus coming in power and great glory and with angels pertain to the visible second coming of Jesus at the 6^th seal during the tribulation.  (However, there are some passages that refer to the visible coming which don’t use those words, but you can tell by the context, by the fact that they were already talking about the big “end of time” visible second coming.  And He also comes again visibly at the end of the trib for the battle of Armageddon, so that coming is referred to at times.  But neither of these "visible comings" are the rapture.)
          2.  None of the passages that pertain to the rapture have the words “in power and great glory and with angels.” 
 

             This helps clear up a lot of confusion about which “coming” the passage is referring to.  

I Will Love You ... Always

            “How long, O Lord?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me? . . . But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.”  (Psalm 13:1, 5-6)

            “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him, . . .”  (Job 13:15)

            “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”  (Job 1:21)

                       

            Years ago, I saw the movie Facing the Giants.  And it was a good movie.  Last night (April 16, 2015, this is obviously a repost), I saw it again . . . and it was a great movie.  It touched my heart in ways it didn’t before.  And I pretty much cried through the whole thing.  (Good thing the lights were off so my family couldn’t tell.) 

Silence as Worship

(written 3\6\18)

For a long time now I have had a hard time praying.  (I'm talking a couple years.)  Or more accurately, I've had a hard time knowing what to pray, how to pray.

It feels like so much has gone wrong, like so many hopes have crashed and burned, like prayer isn't having any effect, like I am praying to the ceiling, like the things I pray about are what gets attacked anyway, like the burdens of life are too heavy and have shattered me into too many pieces, like there is just too much to complain about.

And so ... I have been silent.

In life.  In friendships.

And even in prayer (for the most part, compared to how I used to pray).

And this has bothered me for awhile.  Made me feel guilty, like I am failing at friendships, at my faith, as a Christian.

I was thinking about all this the other day.  Thinking about the alternative to silence.

What if I started talking?  What would I even say?

I realized that if I did start talking, start rambling in prayer, all I would do is complain.  I would lament all that was going wrong, all that felt unfair, all the broken dreams.  I would ramble on about all the things I think I need from God, all the things He isn't giving to me or doing for me.  I would be repeating all the things I've already told Him over and over again.  

And this is when it dawned on me that - with the emotional state I am in - silence is actually my way of honoring God, of worshipping Him.  Of trusting Him.  

Because I don't want to complain about what He has allowed into my life.  I don't want to focus only on the bad stuff.  I don't want to dishonor Him with my grumbling.  I don't want to keep telling Him over and over again about what I expect out of Him, about how He should answer my prayers, about how I want Him to do what I want Him to do, about how much it hurts that He isn't answering prayers my way.
 

I know Him too well to doubt His love, care, goodness, and sovereignty. I know Him too well to think that He isn't listening, that He doesn't care, or that He isn't going to do something about my concerns.
  

If opening my mouth right now means complaining ... then I choose silence.

If opening my mouth means telling Him over and over again all that I've already told Him, acting like He isn't listening or doesn't care ... then I choose silence.

If opening my mouth means that I keep talking and talking, leaving no room for Him to talk and no room for me to really hear what He has to say when He is ready to talk ... then I choose silence.

Silence is how I am worshipping Him right now.  How I bear the daily crosses.  How I am settling myself down so I can hear Him when He is ready to talk.  How I am learning to wait on His timing, to let Him do things His way.  How I show that I trust Him, even when life hurts.  

I Just Want To Finish Well

Once again, I found myself in an emotional funk (this is a repost from 2014, yet it still seems to be where I’m at in 2017), feeling like I can’t accomplish anything.  Can’t give any one thing the effort and time it needs.  I am so stretched-thin in places.  The housework never gets done.  This house will never be "finished."  My cooking has seen better days.  There’s not enough time to do everything I want to do when it comes to taking care of my family.  I'm just one person, trying to do too much.  There's not enough "me" to go around.

I was feeling a little panicked that things were slipping away from me too fast, that I couldn’t get a grip on anything.  And then I picked up a movie from the library that really settled my heart.  Flywheel.  It’s an older one, the first one done by the people who made Courageous and Facing the Giants.  And I have to say that . . . it . . . is . . . good!  It’s really good, even if it’s a little old and primitive.

But the thing that sticks with me the most from it was the line that went like this: “I just want to finish well.” 

Overcoming Spiritual Fear

            Are you ultra-concerned about being a “good Christian” and doing the “right” thing, praying the “right” way, having the “right” attitude, and making the “right” choices?

 

            Do you find yourself desperately following “do and don’t” lists, afraid that you might step out of line?

 

            Are you often afraid that God is going to blast you with a lightning bolt for saying or doing something wrong?

 

            Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells with Him, always afraid of displeasing Him?

 

            Do you feel like no matter how much you strive to please God and do the right thing, you are always letting Him down?

 

            Are you afraid that He really isn’t listening to you or really doesn’t care that much about your “little problems” or aching heart?

 

            Do you hesitate to pray or share your concerns with God because you are afraid of burdening Him?  Afraid to have Him waste His time or energy on you, especially when there are greater tragedies and concerns in the world that deserve God’s attention more than you do?

 

            Is it hard for you to share your true feelings, thoughts, fears, and doubts with Him because you’re afraid of disappointing Him or earning His wrath?  So you put on a nice, polished, acceptable, capable, “good Christian” mask?

 

            Are you afraid of needing God?  Of truly, desperately needing Him?  Relying on Him?  (To really need Him is to be really vulnerable.  If we let ourselves need someone, we take the risk of getting let down, of being dropped on our faces.  And so, many of us don’t risk needing others, even God.  We try our best to be self-sufficient and self-reliant, even with God.  Which doesn’t work.  Eventually we will all find our self-sufficiency tested, in order that we might learn to rely on Him.)

 

            Deep down, do you doubt that God is a good, loving Father who really does want the best for you?  Do you see Him more as a God who is unfair, harsh, or indifferent?         

 

            Have you ever secretly wondered, How could God ever really love me?  I’m just . . . me!  Messed-up me!  Surely, He could never forgive me or want a relationship with me?

 

            Whether or not we admit it, many of us have these kinds of fears.  And they hinder our spiritual walks and our relationships with Him, others, and ourselves.  So how do we deal with these kinds of spiritual fears?

Six Dollars and Thirty-Three Cents

            Six dollars and thirty-three cents.

            It’s all the money that my 8-year old and 11-year-old have right now … and they have asked me to donate it to those affected by Harvey.

 

            We were watching some coverage of the aftermath of the storm, and we saw the story of “Mattress Mack,” the man who opened up his high-end furniture store as a shelter.  And my 11-year-old turned to me, almost with tears in his eyes, and said, “It’s so incredible that someone would risk their business like that to help other people.”  He immediately went to his room and scraped up all the coins he could find (getting his 8-year-old brother to do the same) and they gave it to me to give to the Harvey victims.

 

            Six dollars and thirty-three cents. 

 

            “But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. 

            Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, ‘I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others.  They gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything – all she had to live on.’”  (Mark 12:42-44)         
 

            Six dollars and thirty-three cents.  It might not be much in the world’s eyes, but it’s an incredible sacrifice in God’s eyes.  Because it comes from a heart that wants to love and help … a heart that sees the hurt and needs of other people and refuses to do nothing … a heart that knows it doesn’t have much to give but that gives it anyway.

 

            ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’”  (Matthew 25:40)

250 Questions to Ask God

            A thought hit me one night as I went to bed.  A new idea.  Something I thought was a fun, exciting idea.  I would love to write a list of questions that we can ask God, one a day.  Questions that we might not normally think to ask Him.        

 
           I am passionate about learning to walk and talk with God, not just talking at Him.  And in the John Eldredge books I've read, he talks about going off into the wilderness and spending personal time asking God a question.  And then waiting for the answer.  I love that idea, especially since I believe that it is so important to practice hearing God and to deliberately invite Him into our days and our thoughts.  But it is so easy to let a day slip by just being busy with life. 

            And so I thought it would be great if there was a book of questions that would help us do that.  Now, there probably is a list like this out there somewhere, but I haven’t seen it.  And so I figured, I’ll make my own.  I’ll compile questions that I think are important to ask God, for the sake of learning to listen, to obey, for abiding in Him, and for walking with the Spirit more throughout every day.   

How to Understand "God's Will"

            “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  (Romans 12:1-2)

           

            We all want to know what God’s Will is, don’t we?  But do we really know what we are asking?  Are we willing to put in the required effort to know it?

            Usually, when we want to know God’s Will, we want to know what our next step is or what plans God has in store for our future.  We think of “His Will” as “His plans for our life.” 

            But is that how the Bible defines “God’s Will”?

 

            Does “God’s Will” mean what He wants for us/asks of us?  Is it His plans for our lives?  Is it just whatever happens … because God always does His Will, right?  Such as “Well, it must have been God’s Will that I got pregnant . . . or lost my job . . . or that our house got destroyed in a tornado, etc. because it’s what happened”? 

            Personally, I think that “His Will” is not necessarily about His future plans for us and it’s not really whatever happens to us.  I think it is most accurately defined as what He desires. 

            It’s what He wants for us (the choices He wants us to make and the path He wants us to take and the blessings He wants us to obtain, etc.), and it’s what He wants from us (living God-glorifying lives and being obedient, etc.).

Prayer, Faith, and God's Will

(repost, summary of “Understanding God’s Will,” Question 9, Q9a-Q9i)

            “‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered.  ‘I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.  Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.’” (Mark 11:22-24)      

            I have to be honest.  I struggle with this verse more than any other.  I really do.  I mean, it sounds pretty straightforward to me: believe that you’ll get what you ask for and you’ll get it.  Name it and claim it!  Sounds great! 

            But there’s a problem.

            It doesn’t always happen.  There are things that we pray for and that we are confident are in line with God’s Will, and yet they don’t happen.  The mountains didn’t move. 

            How come some prayers don’t seem to work, even when you believe that it’s God’s Will?  And how long do you keep praying for something (especially when it’s a painful issue) when God seems to not be listening or answering?   

Winning the Battle

I have been in a “funk” lately.  I get in them often, comes with being a child from a broken home.  (This is a repost of something I wrote years ago, but it still strongly applies.)  Prayer has felt futile.  I’ve been wanting to pull back from people.  I am struggling to accept certain “life problems” that I wish I didn’t have.  And I constantly deal with feelings of failure and not mattering.  

I know it’s not proper for a Christian to expose the fact that they are dealing with depression and frustration with God and disappointment with prayer and unhappiness with life.  I know we are supposed to plaster on that “good, happy, Christian smile” and act like we are full of joy and peace and contentment.  (Or are we?)  But this is the truth about how I feel.  And if I can’t be real with God and other Christians (even anonymously on this blog), then who can I be real with? 

[One of my reasons for writing so honestly is because I want my kids to understand that struggling with life and with God is part of the journey.  It does not make you a “bad Christian.”  It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is important to face it and work through it honestly. 

Broken

            It hurts to be broken. 

            It’s being vulnerable, taking a risk with our hearts . . . sometimes winning, sometimes losing. 

            It’s leaning on others and opening ourselves up to them, to trust, to hope.  Sometimes finding support and acceptance and help, being caught before we hit the ground.  And sometimes being let down and battered, falling flat on our faces when others pull back and fail to catch us. 

            Sometimes, it’s just a minor annoyance, a pain that we absorb with relative ease, realizing that we are better for it.  And sometimes, it’s more pain than we can bear, feeling like we’ll never be whole again, wanting to curl up in a ball in a dark, lonely corner and fall asleep forever. 

            Being broken hurts!   

I'm weak and I need You!

            What is it that we always say to encourage people going through a hard time?

            “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”

            But guess what?

            It’s not true. 

            “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered . . . We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we even despaired of life.  Indeed, in our hearts, we felt the sentence of death.  But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”  (2 Corinthians 1:8-9)